so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
