I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
