Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize