WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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