Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize