Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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