I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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