Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
