College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
