He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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