i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
