Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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