Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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