Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
