there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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