I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
