I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
