i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
