update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
