we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
