He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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