I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
