omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
