I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
