Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
