Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
