I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
