You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
