Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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