U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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