Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
They have beer where we have blood.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
