soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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