my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
