took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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