On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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