Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
