Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Found your dick twin last night
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
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