i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
