Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I could fuck to npr.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I still have a little drunk in my system
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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