508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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