Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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