And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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