GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
