do herpes really smell.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
