whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
one might say we're banned from that church
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
