we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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