Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
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I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
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You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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