Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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