I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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