Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
