There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
