Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
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Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She told me I should be a condom model.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
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Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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