Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
