my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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