i would punch a child for taco bell
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
