My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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