oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
