...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
