She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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