Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The beer is more important than you right now.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize