He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
