Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
