Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize