I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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