she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Randomize
