Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
