To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You pole danced in your parka.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
